1.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
drawing
her
eyebrows
too
high.
She
looked
surprised. "
【笑话】

2.
"My
doctor
says
I
need
to
stop
having
intimate
dinners
for
four.
Unless
there
are
three
other
people
there
with
me. "
【自嘲】

3.
"I
always
keep
a
large
bottle
of
water
with
me,
because
you
never
know
when
someone
might
challenge
you
to
an
impromptu
hydration
contest. "
【幽默】

4.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
explaining
why
I'm
right. "
【挑衅】

5.
"I
used
to
think
I
was
indecisive,
but
now
I'm
not
sure. "
【自嘲】

6.
"I'm
not
lazy,
I'm
just
conserving
my
energy. "
【借口】

7.
"I've
decided
to
stop
procrastinating. . .
starting
tomorrow. "
【自嘲】

8.
"I
wish
I
could
turn
back
the
clock.
I'd
find
you
sooner
and
love
you
longer. "
【甜蜜】

9.
"I'm
not
short,
I'm
just
concentrated
awesome. "
【自信】

10.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
explaining
why
I'm
right. "
【挑衅】

11.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
passionately
expressing
my
opinion. "
【自认为正确】

1
2.
"I
have
a
photographic
memory,
but
sometimes
I
forget
to
charge
the
batteries. "
【自嘲】

1
3.
"I'm
not
addicted
to
coffee,
we're
just
in
a
committed
relationship. "
【幽默】

1
4.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
debating
with
a
higher
volume. "
【挑衅】

1
5.
"I'm
not
lazy,
I'm
energy-efficient. "
【借口】

1
6.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
expressing
my
opinion
patiently
and
loudly. "
【自认为正确】

1
7.
"I'm
not
short,
I'm
just
concentrated
awesome. "
【自信】

1
8.
"I
don't
suffer
from
insanity,
I
enjoy
every
minute
of
it. "
【自嘲】

1
9.
"I
used
to
think
I
was
indecisive,
but
now
I'm
not
sure. "
【自嘲】

20.
"I
didn't
choose
the
thug
life,
the
thug
life
chose
me. "
【幽默】